Beauty For Ashes

How many times have I talked about depression?  Well, plenty really.  I feel like it is a subject that I will never fully understand and thus, I must talk about it now and again.

I haven’t been having to much trouble with the blues or worse but I have begun to notice certain “shifts” if you will, of moods when things happen.  For example, the weather is very cold, not very pretty and I am cooped up inside more than I would like because of it.  Thus, I experience depressive mood swings more.  I’ve know this for awhile but the cool thing is, I am able to pinpoint what exactly is going on and make some adjustments to keep on top of it a little better.  For example:  in the past I would feel depressed and I would sit and worry about why and how this is going down.  Today is different.  I am able to see that there is nothing major going on in my heart that should lead me into a cycle of depression and me bashing.  It is simply due to the cold weather and being sick. 

The solution is simple really.  I take extra care of myself and pay special attention to where I am at spiritually(I have a good quite time, journal, read my Bible or life verses), emotionally(I take a personal inventory of what is going on in my heart and do my best to chuck the junk with God’s help, find some things to be thankful for, email a friend, go hang with my husband, play with my kids, or take a time out), and physically(how much sugar have I eaten lately?  When was the last time I took a walk? Am I doing my best to eat whole foods and stay away from refined carbs?)

I don’t say “the solution is simple” lightly.  What I mean is that I have some personal check lists that I am learning to evaluate before I panic, throw my hands in the air, crawl into bed and cry.  That is a change for me.  Winter time is one of the times of year that I am becoming very aware of how I can slide down the path of deep, ugly, pit type depression.  It is a hard time for me.  The holidays conjure up quite a lot of personal pain and loss so I am always a little anxious to get through.  Each year seems to be a bit better. 

Why do I share this stuff with you?  Well, I know there are some out there lurking and reading who may struggle with the same tendancy toward depression that I do.  My purpose is simply to continue dialoging about it and what I do with it in the hopes that, if per chance, someone in the middle of the dark part of depression reads this, they know they aren’t alone and that another person in the world battles the dark pit and is living through and above it depending on the day.

I never take for granted anymore that I won’t slip back down into that mire but at the same time, I see that there is positively hope that I don’t have to stay there.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  I hope your Thanksgiving is very special.

We have had a nice week.  M and C are out of school so they have been very thankful.  Unfortunately, C came down a nasty little virus and has a fever for the last day or so.  I thought maybe it was strep so I took him in and sure enough, it wasn’t…just a virus that is morphing.  He is on his 2-3 week cycle of illness now…frown.

Anyway, something we did learn about him and why he is eating like a hungry chicken rather than just a little bird is that he is growing.  I had him in to see the doc for the very same reason at the beginning of October and since that visit he has gained 2 1/2 pounds and grown 1/2 inch.  Wow!  No wonder his pants are climbing half way up his shins.  Now if I could just get some girth on him so his pants aren’t falling down all the time.

Also, I got my ring back from school and guess what…I got 100% on it.  I was so pleased and feel excited and full of inspiration.  Honestly, I was not expecting a terrific grade and was trying to figure out a redesign so I could bring that grade up because, you know, I am no annal retentive and OCD about getting an A in this class. 

My Dad and I were laughing yesterday because this is the first time that I have been in college that I have done well.  I am not a brilliant scholar much to the surpise of many (just kidding) and grades were always a huge issue in college.  I was always one step away from being booted from school because of my grades.  Thank goodness I married a brilliant man.  He has brilliance I have common sense(usually). 

Here is a picture of my first ring.  It is made of Sterling and Fine Silver, darkened with Liver of Sulfer and the high spots brought up to a high polish.  I was inspired by the sand dollars we get at the coast and that is what my design was derived from. 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I told you I would post more about my trip as I process it. 

This week is Thanksgiving week and I am going to be baking a lot with my kids so I thought I would reminisce about my food experiences in NYC.

We went to a number of cool restaurants that offered many new experiences.  I would have to say my number one favorite was Max Brenner.  6 of us were seated upstairs in a dimmly lit room, handed monstrous menues with all sorts of drinks, food and desserts.  I sat numbly looking at all the different things I could order and found myself wanting to skip the dinner portion of the meal entirely and head straight for the dessert.  Good sense prevailed and I scanned the menu for a real meal.

I was feeling a little daring and spontaneous so I decided to order a drink first off.  I didn’t dare look at any of my friends as I ordered because I didn’t really want to see the surprise and wonder….I don’t drink normally but, as I stated before, I was feeling a little daring.  Being cold and a little grumpy played into my choice too.  ”I’d like a White Chocolate Martini please.”   

Oh.My.Gosh.  When they brought me my drink I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  I am not an experienced alcohol consumer, generally speaking, I don’t enjoy wine and because of my upbringing, I tend to get a guilt complex if I even look at an alcoholic beverage so me ordering a white chocolate martini was extremely unusual.  However, I felt no guilt over my drink.  It was fantastic!

After they brought my martini, which I tried very hard not to guzzle, they brought our meals.  My pulled pork crepe and salad was equally delicious and brought back memories of a little crepe restaurant in France.  It was very tasty.

By the time we were done with our meals, I think everyone at our table was feeling better and had found their humor bone again. 

Dessert was spectacular!  Each of us ordered a different dessert and they all looked amazing.  Because, I am not a chocolate lover, white chocolate is where I tend to gravitate.  I chose the white chocolate soup and disappointment was not on the menu in any way.  It was so smooth and yummy. 

This trip, we also experienced a Bobby Flay restaurant, Bar Americain.  Again the food was terrific.  I ordered their salmon topped with wild mushrooms and I wasn’t disappointed.  The Salmon was very moist, cooked to perfection.  I enjoyed it very much.

We also stopped in to eat cheese cake at Junior’s.  I will never again eat a Costco cheesecake.  Junior’s was perfect.  The cheesecake was extremely smooth and lacked that twang that you get with most other cheesecakes. 

Finally, we got to eat soup at the Original Soup Man (The Soup Nazi for those who watched Sienfeld).  I went for the giant sized clam chowder.  (it was very cold out) I was not disappointed.  It was some of the best I’ve had.  It had some pretty complex flavors which was a change from the bacon laden taste of many I get here in the Northwest.

NYC is known for it’s restaurants for a reason.  We never went hungary.

I feel a need to apologize for going on and on about a drink but truely, that was an entirely new experience for me and when I think of NYC, I think white chocolate martini.

Hello, I’m back.  Did I mention that I was going on a trip to New Jersey and New York this last weekend? 

Well, I went, I’m home and my brain is filled to overflowing.  It was an amazing trip in many different ways.  I have much to tell and many stories to share as well as pictures.  I won’t share it all now but I will try to spread it out over a few blogs.

This trip has put me in the mood for Christmas.  I haven’t felt this way in nearly 4 years I think.  What got me in the mood you ask?  Well it started with seeing the opening show of the 75th anniversary of the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes.  It was terrific and unexpectedly so for me.  I was looking forward to the show but now I’m a fan.  The decoration, music, dancing and story line was splendid and I left the theatre ready to hang decorations, bake and wrap presents. 
 
This is a photo of some of the crystals hanging from the chandelier in Radio
City Music Hall.

I have to tell you though, I feel thrilled that I am still alive because after having just 3 1/2 hours of sleep the night before, I did fall asleep a time or two.  Once, I fell asleep hard enough that my head snapped back, scared me, I yanked my body forward and was just sure I yanked hard enough I was going to flip right over the seat in front of me.  That is not a great way to wake up from a nap.

Aside from the sleepy eyes though,  the show amazed me.  They actually had camels walk across the stage and oh, the beautiful nativity story they told was out of this world.  It was terrific.

It was cold and blustery and I was in NYC.  I stood out like a total Northwesterner in my Keen shoes and bright lime green Columbia Ski jacket with my huge, fuzzy, puple scarf but that’s okay, I still loved the cold weather, I stayed generally warm and my feet never did hurt. 

Macy’s was the cherry on top for me when it came to Christmas spirit.  Macy’s was decorated beautifully and the crystal ball that is dropped in Times Square was on display.  Oh, my that was a treat.  I always thought the thing was just awfully ugly on TV but up close, it is magnificent!  Nothing like it to get you ready to sing Christmas Carols.

Here are some pictures of our trip.  I have so many other stories to tell but I will wait.
Central Park
 
The Girls near Rockefeller Center

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while.  So much going on in our house.  All of it good, I think.

Let’s see, where to start.  Last weekend we spent the weekend in Seaside helping my MIL put together a garage sale/arts and crafts bazaar for this weekend.  She has a number of artisans showing their things and I hope it will go spectacularly well for her.  I have to admit that I had my reservations but after helping here put together her displays, I was very impressed.   We talked with her on Friday night and she seemed very pleased with her results so far.  I am happy for her and for all intents and purposes, the time spent helping I think has further helped with healing in our relationship.  I think we are not quick to take one another for granted in who we are, very nice.

I am madly scrambling to get myself and my family ready for our respective trips this next weekend.  T and the kids are heading to Vegas to visit with family and attend the airplane show at Nellis Airforce Base.  It’s their 70th anniversary show and it should be pretty spectacular. 

NY is my destination.  I, with 4 other of my friends are heading to visit Summer in NJ but will be spending significant time in NY City.  I am excited and very nervous all at the same time.  NYC has never been on my list of must see places but, in doing all the research, I have changed my mind.  I.Can’t.Wait.  We leave on Wednesday for Portland and fly out on Thursday morning. 

I am now on to my second project in my metalcraft class.  It is due on Thursday, I won’t be here so I am scrambling a bit.  I am making a ring and the design is taken off of a sanddollar.  I am excited to see how it will turn out.  Pictures will come as soon as I finish it. 

Here are some pictures of my kids and a friend taken in Seaside, Oregon as well as some photos of my kids yesterday as they rode in a helicopter for the first time.